No Off Season...for dads

Christmas time in New York is always a fun time.  The animated Christmas windows, decorations, and the smell of roasted peanuts on the streets is always a treat. Macy's after the Thanksgiving Day Parade becomes a human sea of eager shoppers looking for the quick sales.  Another Macy's tradition is on the top floor called Santa Land . If you've never been, its a treat.  You meander through a constructed area with Christmas trees, trains, and elves. At the end of the path you can take a picture with Santa Claus. My wife used to do this when she was younger.  This time the excursion to Santa Land turned out to be a lot different. We received word as we were in line that there was a African American Santa or for our reading, a Black Santa.  There was a secret code that all the elves knew to get a picture with him. We had to ask for 'the special'. We had to wait a little longer for 'our' Santa to prepare.  We're not sure why, but have assumptions....

It was the Thanksgiving holidays. As a family tradition, we would eat  at the formal dinner table.   But, we could not come to the dinner table looking shabby.  We had to look sharp.  Well, it was time for my boys to get a haircut. We did not have the opportunity to get it done in DC, but we had more time in New York.  I took them to a local barbershop down the street from their grandmother's house.  It was a small barbershop; it only had three chairs. The barbers sat the boys down in two different chairs and went to work.   Jasira Monique's son getting a haircut. They edged them perfectly, took off a layer of hair, put some 'smell good' spray to finish it off and brushed off the neck.  OMG, my boys looked good!  I recently polled parents on Facebook asking if they took their children to the barber or if they cut hair themselves.  It was interesting to see that almost half took them to the barber. ...

My son's social life just might drive me crazy. Not only am I looking at a son who's in high school, but I'm looking at a son who's in high school going to his homecoming dance. I'm really not sure if I'm ready for this, but he seems like he is. It's taking me back to when I went to my proms and homecoming dance(s). They were always a lot of fun...and always a lot of pressure. Who do I ask? Will we have fun? Did I get the corsage right? What about how we're getting there? Do my parents have to chaperone? What if she says no? Questions. Questions. Questions. For right now, he's on a high.  I have to coach him on how to be. On how to have a great time. And on how to show respect for himself, his 'date', his God, & our name. This is all a process. Thoughts. I'm still in training during my season.

Children are so much more flexible than we are. They can go into any new situation and fit right in. They easily adapt just like chameleons. I'm simply writing this post to praise my boys. Unfortunately, we returned home Tuesday evening to a loud hissing sound. Since I didn't know what it was, I grabbed a stick to take downstairs just in case I had to turn into 'Superhero Dad'.  I walked downstairs and to my dismay I see a half inch of water covering the floor with the hot water expansion tank spewing water. Welcome home. We could not get a technician to come in soon enough and fix the problem. By this time it's 7 o'clock, no dinner has been cooked, and homework needs to be done. We decided to pack up the family and head to a hotel. For some strange reason this appealed to the boys. Literally, they got excited. A little too excited.  We spent the night in a hotel room and the boys got comfortable, extremely comfortable...rather quickly. I couldn't figu...

"Ugggghhhhhhh! Can't I just enjoy the summer?   That's why it's called a summer break. You break from school." Can't I just go outside? "Why do I have to do this now?" "I read a chapter of the book. Why do I have to keep reading?"  Not sure if you heard these during the summer, but we did. This summer may have been the best of times and the worst of times for my boys.  This summer I put pressure on them to perform academically.  They did it, but they hated it.  I look at it from two perspectives:  and concerned parent and a concerned educator.  I polled my Facebook friends for a different perspective to see if they 'forced' their children to do academic work during the summer; I surprisingly got a variety of responses.  For instance,   one father said he didn't force them, "but rather presented and for the most part they did not." Another said that they made 'academics' as an fun activity.  On another si...

I used to hate it when my dad would wake me up on a beautiful, sunny Saturday morning to go outside in the heat in the middle of Georgia (God's country) to cut our grass. I really believe that that he oftentimes forgot that I had a soccer game the day before or I was resting from a long academic week touched by hanging with my friends. Parents to need to be more sensitive to these things. It wasn't until I had kids, boys at that, that I realized that Saturday mornings, or any morning needed to be times where I do less work and they do more.  I mean, let's face it. My dad would show me how to cut grass or sweep the floor. Then it felt like he would lie down in a hammock soaking up rays with an Arnold Palmer and watch me, screaming out some mess like, 'Hey, you missed a spot!' I'm half cussin' (IN MY MIND...) about how I don't want to do this work and why can't he do this instead and why come I don't have anything to drink... Well, here's how i...

Be the dad. There are no prolific ideals here. Be the dad. Don't fear being a dad. If you had the audacity to be with her and get her pregnant, then please have the audacity to care for the child.  Do not make excuses for not being there for the child. You don't live with them? Okay. Make your times happen. If there are problems between you and the mother? Fix it! You don't know how to be a dad? Ask! Read! Seek fathers who have been successful. Yes, there are many out there. The Bible tells us to seek the advice of many counsel and you will be victorious...even in being a dad. I'm so thankful for several examples in my own life. My dad is incredible and has become better as the days grow. I listen and watch. Another example for me has been a man named Carlos Scott. Through questions and having a watchful eye I have seen how to create a successful family.  Fathers, again, please do not make excuses. Do what needs to be done to make it a success. It can happen. With God...