No Off Season...for dads

It was a violently cold night.   I parked about a block away in Adams Morgan and briskly walked to Bourbon, a restaurant/ bar that specializes in (you guessed it), bourbons.  I was enjoying a birthday celebration with some incredible men that I've known for years.  All of us were fathers, some of young kids and some who are clearly in their twenties.  Since I arrived there last, I had to sit next to the door. People walked in and out, neglectfully leaving the door open.  Ummm, did they not realize that it was -216 degrees?!? I digress.  We talked about different things, such as football, whiskeys, and of coarse, our kids. It was inevitable.  As I mentioned, some of these fathers were already empty-nesters.  As the conversation continued, one of the men said something that completely stuck with me. Photo by Life Yomi "You have to parent for departure.", he said.  Profound.  I don't remember anything else from the night.  It w...

I have two sons, 16 and 12.   They truly keep my life moving.   As I have told many people (as well as those who personally know us), my house stays live, never a dull moment.   I can boldly say that since I have been married and with children, I have yet to be bored in over 18 years !   God knows how to make life to the fullest! Well, that brings me to this point.  A part of having an ever-exciting time in my home is due to talks.  You know…talks.  Yes, there are the talks about the birds and the bees.  But who are we really fooling, birds and the bees are really about sex!  Just say it…sex!  What I know of sex is often times completely different from what my boys know.  And it can be shocking about how much they know and how much they don’t know. Okay, we move on. Then there are other real talks.  Talks about life, chores, responsibility, girls, friendships, money, family, school, and the list goes on and on.  I...

"I like driving with one hand.", my son says as he drives for the fourth time in his life. How about this one: "I want to drive with my knees."  My son hasn't been behind the wheel a full hour in his life yet, and he's talking about driving with his knees?!? Where did he get that from? Where did he understand that driving with one hand was okay or using my phone while on 495 was cool?   In fact, where do most of the things that my children do get it from?  You guessed it... their mother!  I will not take responsibility for...okay, I'll stop.  Yes, they get their habits from me. I know I've written about this in the post to some extent, but I believe it's worth mentioning again.  Our kids watch us like a hawk although they might not be looking at us directly.  They see and hear your habits, including the good and often bad habits.  Understanding that they see me, I gotta figure out how I need to change for their betterment.   I rea...

It was almost this time last year I wrote about how my boys would rather go outside, or play on the Wii, or sweep instead of reading a book.  Please, don't get me wrong.  They are highly intelligent kids who do very well in school.  They just believe (as probably do many other kids) that the summer is a time to chill.  Well, the books are back.  Due to higher grade levels, their books are becoming more complex in ideals, focusing on the author's purpose, allegories, and a whole bunch of other facets of literature that I don't need to get into now. Each day, I've challenged my boys to read.  They have to...and they don't want to.  It can be a challenge in the house. Well, I had this challenge yet again today.  My son had to read aloud to me.  He read in the most dismal voice imaginable, inducing thoughts of wanting to consume raw red onions and chase them with garlic cloves and prune juice. Then, brilliance came to mind. 'Dijon, why n...

Determination is a very powerful mind tool. It drives a person to do more than he even expects to do. Although the outcome may be positive or negative, the success is in knowing there was an attempt. Let's take my son for example. Everything about him is personally motivated. He's on a motor that is consistently turning, brewing up new ideas and concepts.  And he wants to see ALL of them happen.  He wanted to start his own business. Guess what he did? Start his own business.  He constantly asked me to allow him to cook breakfast and dinner.   Guess what he does now (sometimes)?  He cooks for not just himself, but sometimes the entire family.  Today, he wanted to go to the beach, even though it rained and rained and rained. Yet, you would never guess what he had the opportunity to do.  Yes he did. My son at the beach enjoying the waves that I should have been enjoying. Not everyone is like this. In fact, there are more people who have to be enc...

I was taking out the trash this evening.  I went through the backyard, pulled out our disgustingly smelly garbage can and wheeled it to the front. Mosquitos were lighting me up because the air was so humid.  I walked back into the house and found my son very upset.  After asking why, he explained that there were kids in his camp class who would curse around him and at times, at him.   My bear claws are starting to protude. He explained that most students cursed in the camp; there was only a handful that he knew that wouldn't.  He is one that doesn't like profanity and just about anything that is unhealthy for the body or soul.  I can respect that.  I unfortunately had to explain that he should be alarmed and aware when he hears this type of language, but he shouldn't be freaked out.  I told him that I used to curse when younger (although I could never string together the right curse words-I always sounded crazy).  We hear profanity ever...

Today was another proud moment for me.  I watched my boys (from the warmth of my house) get out in the cold and snow and ask neighbors to shovel their walkways for a little profit.  It was fantastic.  They looked so cold. They didn't get as much as they were hoping for, but they got something.  I was so happy for them.The Bible does say that all hard work brings a profit. It made me think back of when my dad would make me get up early on Saturday mornings and cut our grass.  There was one morning when the dread of cutting pollen-filled grass, which activated my allergies and never ending sneezing, changed.  He took me to my neighbor's house and told me to knock on the door.  The neighbor (let's call him Mr. Brown) answered the door, dressed in some argyle socks, a t-shirt, brown slippers, and shorts smoking on a pipe.  I asked if I could cut his grass in which he said yes.  My dad coached me to knock on his door once I finished.  Mr....

"Ugggghhhhhhh! Can't I just enjoy the summer?   That's why it's called a summer break. You break from school." Can't I just go outside? "Why do I have to do this now?" "I read a chapter of the book. Why do I have to keep reading?"  Not sure if you heard these during the summer, but we did. This summer may have been the best of times and the worst of times for my boys.  This summer I put pressure on them to perform academically.  They did it, but they hated it.  I look at it from two perspectives:  and concerned parent and a concerned educator.  I polled my Facebook friends for a different perspective to see if they 'forced' their children to do academic work during the summer; I surprisingly got a variety of responses.  For instance,   one father said he didn't force them, "but rather presented and for the most part they did not." Another said that they made 'academics' as an fun activity.  On another si...