Skip to main content

Parenting for Departure

It was a violently cold night.  I parked about a block away in Adams Morgan and briskly walked to Bourbon, a restaurant/ bar that specializes in (you guessed it), bourbons.  I was enjoying a birthday celebration with some incredible men that I've known for years.  All of us were fathers, some of young kids and some who are clearly in their twenties.  Since I arrived there last, I had to sit next to the door. People walked in and out, neglectfully leaving the door open.  Ummm, did they not realize that it was -216 degrees?!? I digress.  We talked about different things, such as football, whiskeys, and of coarse, our kids. It was inevitable.  As I mentioned, some of these fathers were already empty-nesters.  As the conversation continued, one of the men said something that completely stuck with me.
Image result for pictures on child leaving home
Photo by Life Yomi

"You have to parent for departure.", he said.  Profound.  I don't remember anything else from the night.  It was if Charlie Brown was listening to his teacher as she said, 'Whaa da waa whaaa' (if you don't know what this really sounds like, watch an episode of Charlie Brown).  This was easy for him to say because he has three children who are out of the house.  With his wife, they have done a remarkable job with their kids.

Parent for departure.  What does that truly mean?

Well, as I have now have two teenage boys (17 & 13), this three-word phrase is beginning to mean so much, maybe too much, and I am still grappling with it.  That being said, I am going to write a blog series on this very topic.  It's going to be very engaging, informative, real, and a bit funny at times. What do you think it means?  And what would it mean for you?  Hope you're ready.

I am a dad with growing boys trying to get them ready to get out my house.  I really have No Off Season...

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Before you go, I have to tell you this...

My wife and oldest son had been feverishly preparing for this for over two years. A sojourn to Egypt is what monopolized the attention of this house for about the past week. We've been packing, buying last minute items, and anticipating an almost 24-hour travel. As my wife was packing at the gorgeous time of 4:15 am, I was writing some thoughts to my son. I was giving him advice-technical, moral, physical, and spiritual advice. Even while cutting his hair last night, I was advising him. At the end of the letter, I gave him my blessing. I wrote a letter to Paula as well. And just like the one to my son, I gave her the same type of advice, just more seasoned for her needs. And at the end of the letter, I gave her my blessing. I packed the letters away in their suitcases. They won't see them until they reach their hotel in Egypt. I learned and was reminded of a couple of things from their upcoming experience. First, perseverance has its rewards. They stuck this program out fo...
7 comments
Read more

It's What's Best For You

I had to have a serious talk with my boys tonight.  I had been noticing some facets of their character that I did not think was necessarily wrong, but it was not what I think was the best.  So just before they went to bed, we had a Five Minute Blitz (our version of a devotional). As many of you know, I am really working hard to build our famliy on the standards of the Bible.  Well, the backdrop for this conversation stemmed from an abbreviated Deuteronomy 10:12-13: "And now, O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God...to love Him...and to observe the Lord's commands that I am giving you today for your own good?" I have been noticing that they were not giving their full potential in their everyday lives.  Yes, they are boys...young boys at that.  Yet, I know what they are capable of.  I now understand why my dad pushed me so hard.  He encouraged me (made me) to do chores, to wake up early (6am.....
4 comments
Read more

Still Learning...

I was thinking about my boys and the things I have learned as a dad over the last couple of days.  Just thoughts... 1)  This takes work! 2)  I have to give my boys more credit than I do. 3)  I have to trust that they will put into practice what I teach them. 4)  They do listen to me. 5)  They often follow the examples that I do, whether good or bad. 6)  They are boys, not men; so I cannot give them a man's responsibility...yet. 7)  They are boys, not men; so I cannot expect to act like a man.  I have to allow them to be...boys. 8)  They know more than what I give them credit for. 9)  I need to speak to them in a calm voice...more often. 10) Freedom is often harder to give up than I expected...they are growing up and I have to allow them to. 11) I have to get more advice about how to raise them...I have never raised a ten year old and a six year old before.  Each day is new. 12) They do want to spend time ...
2 comments
Read more