Skip to main content

Do I Say or Do Something?



I took my youngest son to a Tae Kwon Do class the other day for the first time. He had never been involved in the martial arts. We won a gift certificate for him to attend. As we go into the building, he seemed rather calm, taking in all of the sights and sounds of the other classes that were going on. My wife and I had been thinking of putting him in a class to help teach a greater level of self-discipline. So this should be good.


The master asked everyone to come into the room and get in place. My son, being only five was a little antsy, but that was to be expected. I sat in the far corner of the room, just enough out of the way so he could not see me and just enough for me to catch a glimpse of what he was doing. I paid careful attention to my son as the instructor gave directions on what to do next. He ordered them to run around the mat until he said stop.

“Go!”, he said.

As all the kids began running around the mat, I hear this little kid yelling at the top of his lungs. Guess who I am praying that it is not? This was one of those unanswered prayers. I wanted to go in the room and ask, no…tell my son to stop yelling, but I couldn’t. He was in the hands of an instructor that I had just met. My son had to follow the orders of someone else in their space. I sat back, trying to use self-control…seething!

As the class went on, my son began to settle in to the routines.

I always want my boys to do their best. Yet, it is challenging not to intercede when you see something not going right. My friend, Mr. Scott, is great with this control. He has a son and daughter who play basketball. I have watched him as he sat at his children’s games. He isn’t yelling at his kids, or even giving sideline advice. Instead, he leaves it to the coaches. Patience and self control are so key here. I had to exercise this self control at my five year old’s Tae Kwon Do class.

How do you feel about this? Should we (as dads) leave it to the coach, or should we give our suggestions and advice? Let’s face it, we know our children better than anyone. And we don’t want to be embarrassed. Lend me your thoughts. I have no off season for learning…

Comments

  1. Leave it to the coaches. My husband is a pro at this. I am likely the one to coach from the sidelines. He is calm and lets the coach.....coach.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've been a coach. Trust me. It's best to leave it to the coach.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Before you go, I have to tell you this...

My wife and oldest son had been feverishly preparing for this for over two years. A sojourn to Egypt is what monopolized the attention of this house for about the past week. We've been packing, buying last minute items, and anticipating an almost 24-hour travel. As my wife was packing at the gorgeous time of 4:15 am, I was writing some thoughts to my son. I was giving him advice-technical, moral, physical, and spiritual advice. Even while cutting his hair last night, I was advising him. At the end of the letter, I gave him my blessing. I wrote a letter to Paula as well. And just like the one to my son, I gave her the same type of advice, just more seasoned for her needs. And at the end of the letter, I gave her my blessing. I packed the letters away in their suitcases. They won't see them until they reach their hotel in Egypt. I learned and was reminded of a couple of things from their upcoming experience. First, perseverance has its rewards. They stuck this program out fo...

It's What's Best For You

I had to have a serious talk with my boys tonight.  I had been noticing some facets of their character that I did not think was necessarily wrong, but it was not what I think was the best.  So just before they went to bed, we had a Five Minute Blitz (our version of a devotional). As many of you know, I am really working hard to build our famliy on the standards of the Bible.  Well, the backdrop for this conversation stemmed from an abbreviated Deuteronomy 10:12-13: "And now, O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God...to love Him...and to observe the Lord's commands that I am giving you today for your own good?" I have been noticing that they were not giving their full potential in their everyday lives.  Yes, they are boys...young boys at that.  Yet, I know what they are capable of.  I now understand why my dad pushed me so hard.  He encouraged me (made me) to do chores, to wake up early (6am.....

Still Learning...

I was thinking about my boys and the things I have learned as a dad over the last couple of days.  Just thoughts... 1)  This takes work! 2)  I have to give my boys more credit than I do. 3)  I have to trust that they will put into practice what I teach them. 4)  They do listen to me. 5)  They often follow the examples that I do, whether good or bad. 6)  They are boys, not men; so I cannot give them a man's responsibility...yet. 7)  They are boys, not men; so I cannot expect to act like a man.  I have to allow them to be...boys. 8)  They know more than what I give them credit for. 9)  I need to speak to them in a calm voice...more often. 10) Freedom is often harder to give up than I expected...they are growing up and I have to allow them to. 11) I have to get more advice about how to raise them...I have never raised a ten year old and a six year old before.  Each day is new. 12) They do want to spend time ...